Living Like a Tree

Some people get depressed by fall. While they may not even know why, I’ve read it has to do with the leaves dying all around them, making the world a bit more desolate.

I don’t have that response – I find it a glorious season. The leaves turning and falling – I find them life-giving. I walked in a pile of fallen leaves yesterday and laughed to myself. That crisp crunch and comfy cushion and memories of falling in a pile of raked leaves as a kid. A reason it makes me with a constant smile on my face.

These days I’m not a fan of raked leaves. I find them life-giving, and raking iften means that doesn’t happen. When I had a yard I mowed them and let them feed nutients to the soil. The ones around my bushes I left, so bugs could live underneath them and thrive.

I’m also not a fan of time changes. Even falling back – the best of the two. It messes with my body. I slept until 4:30 this morning, but just got up. Usually my body gets up around 5. I won’t fight it. I’ll let my body gently adjust. Still I know this will hit be an easy adjustment.

I’m working at the moment. Helping employees at a company with their annual enrollment. I suspect I’ll find the 9:30-7 schedule challenging tomorrow. Since I haven’t worked full-time Iin a while, that’s a challenge in itself. My body will feel it is until 8, I suspect. But it will adjust. It always does.

We do that in life, don’t we? There are certain things we simply must accept. Things we wouldn’t choose for our lives. But there are so many things we can choose. We should. Having the flexibility to make decisions is a great gift.

I went downtown yesterday for a fall festival we have called Pumpkinfest. I’m not typically a festival lover, but I did enjoy myself. I heard a bit of music, saw some friends, and enjoyed the walk around.

I ended up walking home when my feet felt a bit worn out. Around that time a friend texted from the middle of town asking me to join her. I declined. I would have enjoyed the time with her, but I knew my body needed rest.

Then after I got home I found out the musician article I needed to do for a local news magazine was going to have a deadline a week early – the day I stop this project that has me working part-time.

I hadn’t even asked the artist I planned to interview if she’d let me write about her. As luck would have it, she was playing at Pumpkinfest that afternoon. I made myself put shoes back on and go over there. I had considered it anyway, to get pictures of her performing whether we could do the article now or later, but certainly now it seemed imperative. I got great pictures and them afterward went back and asked her. She agreed to do it and work with my crazy schedule.

That crazy schedule has me wanting to stay home and read and watch TV (my latest addiction is true crime podcasts on YouTube – this addiction follows one on polygamy and cult life. Yeah, I’m not completely sure why).

But people matter, too. It took a few days for me to meet my newest great nephew (though I finally met him on Wednesday). I haven’t seen my mom since I started this job. The hours in her memory caree facility don’t fit with my work schedule.

I am trying to continue my weekly concerts with Piedmont Folkways, a group that promotes all kinds of music whose roots are folk (which means most music). Not only is the music always great (never overlook your community’s musicians), but my connection to that community necessary. Life is lonely without belonging.

I also was able to hear author David Sedaris with my cousin Lea Ann Friday night. I had to fight a bit to get off work easy. But his beautiful writing, irreverant humor, and sharing it all with my cousin was special.

At 64 I know life is short, yet there is so much I want to do. I want to spend time with people who want to spend time with me. I want to explore the world. I want to read and think and grow. I’m not totally who I want to be yet and I know these experiences will grow me.

Life is beautiful. I don’t want it to pass me by, even if a part of me would be perfectly content living in isolation. Still, when I consider what my definition is for living a very full life, isolation isn’t it. It’s those interactions with people and places, planned and unplanned.

The leaves fall from the trees because it’s time to prepare for new growth. I guess I’m a tree. What will come next? While the future is not in my control, totally, I can choose living full. As often as possible. In spite of everything.