I love doing hard things.
Note that I didn’t say I like trying hard things. I don’t usually. But when I’m successful at doing them, even slightly, I like it.
I don’t like parties. I know that’s hard for some people to comprehend, but I really don’t. They bring out the introvert side of me and I’m totally out of my element.
I hate small talk. I can do a bit of it, but then I’m done.
It’s bad enough when I know the people at the party – yes, I’m uncomfortable even then usually. But when most people are strangers? I have major anxiety. I can’t tell you how excruciatingly difficult it is for me.
Oh, I could decline all invitations, but usually I was invited because someone thought to invite me and it’s something they care about. Often it is a celebration – and people and events and causes should be celebrated.
It’s weird that going to a party is one of the hardest things I do, but spending so much of my life unpartnered I am usually alone. I don’t mind doing most things alone, but parties make me feel more alone than most other things.
But I continue to go to them and that high level of anxiety doesn’t get easier with time. When they are over there is relief – and a certain feeling of accomplishment. Another survived – yes, sometimes I think I won’t survive them.
Oh, there are many other hard things I do – I have become less fearful as I age. But parties – I’m not sure I’ll ever conquer that fear. But I won’t stop trying.
Invest in those things you love. I’m investing in doing hard things.
“It always seems impossible until it’s done.” – Nelson Mandela
In the Box, Out of the Box 