It’s been an especially tough spring for me. The pollen has seemed to be worse than normal, and we keep having these crazy atmospheric changes (which my body hates.) That means most mornings I wake up with headaches. And I am exhausted…..constantly exhausted.
I’ve lost friends to disease and accident, and seen other friends facing sickness and depression and sadness and guilt and helplessness. My work load has been heavy and just when I think I am getting a handle on it, something else comes up. No one’s fault….it just does. There is a lot going on in the corporate world, and my clients seem to be particularly hit these days. I’ve seen really great people lose jobs and others who lost jobs a while ago, but haven’t found another that brings them the same satisfaction and quality of life. Some friends have had businesses fail, others are struggling with finances. Some through their own fault of overspending, and others because of things like medical bills or car repairs or divorce or things that seem to break down at the worse possible time. I can’t claim depression, because that isn’t the case, but seeing so much darkness does make it a bit more difficult to see the sunshine.
OK, I feel a bit cheated. Spring is supposed to be about beauty and birth and coming alive. I’m supposed to feel energized, not like I just want to bury my head under the covers or lay in bed and read a book and escape from the real world. I’m supposed to be doing spring cleaning, not just stare as the piles of newspapers and mail accumulate around me. I’m supposed to be enjoying the great outdoors, not cursing trees, flowers and the process that brings us honey!
I’m making it worse for myself. I haven’t really worked out well for two weeks. I went one day last week (yep, one) and just felt sluggish. It was difficult to put one foot in front of the other. It discouraged me. But I also know that a sluggish workout is worth something. Not working out at all makes all parts of my body drag all the more. Still, after work this week I have found myself on the couch and not in the gym.
Romans 7:15 comes to mind “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.”
But the truth is that I do understand it…the verse really doesn’t apply here for me. I just stuck it in there for fun (Made ya look!) I just don’t want to do it! When we are tired and feel sick, our mind gets lethargic. When our mind gets lethargic, our body follows suit. And unfortunately, as much as we like to think we don’t control our mind or our body, we do. We have to discipline ourselves, and to repeat the quote Nike made even more famous, just do it! Whether we want to or not. It applies to working out. It applies to cleaning house. It applies to getting work done. It applies to spending time with people we have been neglecting or dealing with relationship problems in positive ways. It applies to paying bills and/or finding a solution to our money problems. It applies to looking for a job. It applies to making appointments to go to the doctor or the dentist. It applies for getting help for problems. It applies for changing wrong patterns that we have going on in our life.
I hate working out. I will probably fight it every day of my life. I especially hate running, and while is not natural to me, my body seems to need for me to do a bit of it. More than running, though what I hate more is knowing I am not taking care of the only body I will be given. Knowing I am resisting something that is for my own good. And not doing something that helps me be more energetic and makes me think better and feel better.
Today is a new day, and while I don’t have much more energy than I did yesterday, I will make an effort to get in a bit of running. No matter how I feel. No matter the excuses I can come up with. I know some of you are dealing with the same sort of thing. Want to join me? Running may not be your issue, but I’ll bet there just may be something else you aren’t doing that you should be doing…..so let’s move it! Today. Let’s renew and re-engage. Let’s find spring. As it should be.