My Two Year Anniversary

It’s the second anniversary of my blog. For an ADD (that’s Attention Deficit Disorder) girl, that’s a milestone! But it’s been fun, it’s been therapeutic, and has caused me to think out loud. Usually in a good way, I think. At times I have been vulnerable, at times not vulnerable enough. It has shown me my pride (often not the good kind!), my passions, and sometimes caused me to change myself. Still, I think I have probably only scratched the surface of where I need to go. There’s exploration that needs to be done there. There are some subjects on which I have strong opinions, but for different reasons I have been reluctant to share my thoughts. Some of those I will probably never speak of publicly, but it often nags at me. When do you speak, when do you keep your mouth shut? It’s a delicate balancing act. I hope I can be wise as to what is most important.

I’m a person who loves an opinion, and I admit a prejudice against some of you who never seem to have one on anything that counts. I don’t buy it. You must have them! In fact, I will go as far as to say that I think you are a selfish coward if you keep them to yourself (bless your heart.) But I get it. I think we have lost the ability to debate  without taking things personally. I understand the reluctance to put yourself out there, to not want to be challenged by bullies who will try to smack you down if you disagree with them. We demonize people who dissent or dare to approach things from a different angle. But if we debate correctly, if we talk and listen instead of yelling with our fingers in our ears, we just may find new solutions that work for us all. We seem to have lost a level of civility. For example, I shake my head at Christians who disrespect our leaders because they think they are doing things against God’s will….yet they don’t fault themselves for not respecting their leaders. That splinter in the leader’s eye is missed with the log in their own. I also shake my head at those who believe internet rumors or act like they know the inner minds of people they have never met. People who paint people by political party, or allow themselves to be painted. Truth is, we are all worth more than that.

It also bothers me how easily we give people life sentences for next to nothing. Someone makes a mistake, or is in a different place than us, or has a bad day, and we allow that to totally color who they are in our eyes. We also try to color the perceptions of others. I’ve seen myself do that to people and it’s a habit I am trying to break. I often ask myself “Was that really a misdemeanor offense or a felony?”  If it’s a felony, how long should they have to serve? Can I let them off when they serve their time or for good behavior? I want to be a fair judge. And yeah, you who say I shouldn’t judge, That’s wimping out in another way. Of course there is a degree to which we have to judge others. We have to be aware of those who can cause harm to ourselves or others, for example. But then again, there are many, many things that are simply none of our business. We should keep our nose out of those things. Really, you have enough of your own stuff you should be concerned about!

So as I begin the third year of my blog, my goal is to be a bit more vulnerable. To be a bit more opinionated. To be a lot more kind and a lot more brave. I want that verse that says “be strong and courageous” to take on new meaning in my life. That is my hope and my prayer. I want to celebrate good people, good places, and good things. I want to share my faith, which I really don’t believe should be a private thing, but also I don’t think it should be something I demand you believe. I like that God gave us free will…but I am also a Calvinist….I believe God pursues His people and allows them to go on unbelievable journeys. Sometimes through really crummy places as really crummy people. But as long as there is life, there is hope. And people can change. If they really look in the mirror.

I’m at an age where I am losing those dear to me too often, but I am also meeting babes who I may be fortunate to see grow to maturity and become interesting adults. We don’t come with warranties and our lifetime guarantees vary. I think I finally am beginning to even see the beauty in that. It is a curious and amazing world, and I hope I get to write about it for another year.

But for today, thank you to those who read my thoughts.  Thank you to those who love me, thank you to those who encourage me, thank you to those who challenge me, and thank you to those who remind me of how little I know. There are places for me to explore, both physically and emotionally, and life on earth is short. I want to make it memorable….and worthwhile. Join me?

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