If you’re looking to play a human version of “Go Fish”, you probably should not invite me to play. You know the game. Instead of asking if they have any 3’s, they say “I’m a nice person, right?” “I’m smarter than average, right?” “I’m way prettier than her, right?” “I’m the right one in this situation, right?” My answer will probably be “Wrong!” …because Stuart Smalley is in the room and I really like to annoy him.
Don’t remember Stuart Smalley? He was that annoying, but still somewhat lovable, Saturday Night Live character played to perfection by Al Franken. Stuart had self-esteem issues and was always trying to bolster himself by repeating a litany of personal affirmations. I loved him. And hated him. Probably because he reminded me of a part of me I really don’t like. I won’t like it in you, either, so I simply can’t play along if you try to draw me into the game.
Many/most of us are insecure on some level. Truth is, we’re not perfect and there are plenty of people around who want to remind us of that fact often. Sometimes we obsess over this. Sometimes we play to the crowd. It often takes a long time for us to realize that we’ll never get the approval of all. Some folks are quite stingy dishing it out. Some people don’t want to celebrate the good things about you because they think it detracts from the greatness of them. Some just have negative eyes….they delight in what they see as the imperfections. They celebrate the perceived flaws of others. They bond with others of like minds and tear people down instead of building people up. Truly they are not the type of people who you want to please anyway. And then there are those that just have no clue you have an issue… you think they are putting you down and they really aren’t paying any attention to you at all!
I guess I could answer those questions for you honestly, because normally they are true. But really, does it matter? Do I help you when I answer them? It really doesn’t matter what the truthful answer to those questions are. Most are subjective and they may change with the situation. And you’re not really fishing for a long analysis of yourself now, are you? You’re simply fishing for compliments.
When we look at ourselves in the mirror, shouldn’t we see the image of God? Isn’t it the voice of Satan that hits the extremes…..that says “Hey you….you’re not all that great!”, or “Why aren’t you….good enough?”, or the other extreme “You are perfect just the way you are”. The voice of God will say “Even though I know you inside and out, you are my precious ones” and “Come to me….just the way you are now. There is no need to hide. I know you and I still want a relationship with you.”
Not much in this life requires that we be perfect. Often when we think it does, we not only waste a lot of energy but we don’t fulfill our purpose. The truly amazing things in life are done by those who seem inadequate. Who don’t seem to have what it takes. They are forced to look to God to get their power. And that is power that changes the world.
Don’t waste precious minutes of life consumed by the opinions of others. You shouldn’t feel inadequate in the company of people who love you…but when you do, is that feeling coming from you or from them? If it is them, find someone else to play with. But if it is coming from you….get over yourself!
So if asked to play the human game “Go Fish!”, I am not your woman. It’s not that I don’t think you’re amazing, but instead it is because I want you to be strong and real. You don’t need meaningless flattery. You need friends who know who you are and love you anyway…..and don’t engage in pointless questions that, if answered, need to be answered by you.
When it gets down to it, you’re good enough and smart enough, and doggone it people like you! But get your focus off that. There are other fish you could catch that will actually provide nourishment.
I hate boxes....usually. Sometimes I fit, often I don't. You too? I used to want to fit in, but now I usually don't. I want to be me. Not far out there, but not quite the norm. I believe we should celebrate the unique in ourselves. I love travel, adventure, hot air balloons, live music, and kind, smart, and interesting people. Have been described as quirky and I quite like it. I love writing because it helps clear out my brain!
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