Jobless – Part 13

It’s 269 days since I worked my last day. It’s weird, but doesn’t yet feel overwhelming.

Not to say that I am not ready to get back to work…I’m come full circle on that, I believe. At first there was a bit of restlessness just because I wasn’t used to being idle. Not that I was especially idle…but if we’re not actively doing a job for pay we sometimes feel that, don’t we?

Then I simply relaxed and determined to enjoy the time, even searching and interviewing for jobs. I added more play. But now I’m so ready to work again.

Right now I am in the official unemployment stage, where that is my only income, and that lasts 12 weeks. It will be up in early November.

I had to go to the NC Works office and have an appointment. Me being me, I had already missed an appointment because I’m not good at opening my mail. Yeah, dumb….but so much mail is useless!

I opened my second one, sternly worded, and after my minor heart attack (I really am someone who plays by the rules and likes to think of herself as responsible, so felt horrible about missing that first appointment). I put the appointment on my calendar, knowing I would make up to them my negligence.

I used to have a crazy good memory. I would remember every nuance of every conversation, for example. I’m sure it was annoying. “You said this and I said that and then you said…”…. you get the point.

I understand that these days it isn’t as finely tuned. I’ve lost complete events in my life….amazing experiences. I don’t worry about it much. I figure it is the result of a full life, well lived.

But still I believe if I write it down I remember. I thought my appointment was at 2:00 on October 2. It was actually at 2:00 on October 1. I realized this at 1:10 on October 1, when my alarm went off.

I’d just gotten back from water aerobics. I was still in my bathing suit, eating lunch. There were things I needed to take to the appointment. They weren’t ready. I went off into a tailspin.

But I get to the appointment on time. My only redeeming act. Well, I had my ID. But the report I was supposed to be keeping showing my three contacts per week.

But it was good. I’m admittedly negative about government run services, so me feeling positive is big. It’s a nice facility, great resources, and Barbara my “Talent Engagement Specialist” was fantastic. She did not lecture me on my lack of preparedness, but encouraged me on having the data I needed to complete the report. She gave me 24 hours to do it and get it back to them. It’s all now in order and I am maintaining.

They had great resources, though having been out of work for so long and being the researcher type, I was encouraged that I had done a good job in my search. She did offer a couple of additional tips, though. I think overall I passed, though I need to keep the data for five years.

On other fronts, I keep trying to do some good with my time. I made a list of things I had done volunteering and it felt satisfying. I’ve also continued to do things with and for friends. Last week I went to Virginia to ride the Virginia Creeper (17 mile bike ride in Virginia. Well it could be 34 miles, but we did the 17!) with one of my oldest friends, Regina. She lives in Abingdon, where the 34 mi. ends, and had never done it before. It was my 3rd time and we will do it again. What a beautiful day!

And I’ve been writing. A ton. My friend Kristie told me about a site called Medium.com for which I have been writing. I’m learning how to not only write for a different type of audience, but how to play their game (because it is a game) to get to a place where I can make money. I’m pretty far away from that, but learning so much from the other writers and hopefully getting better. And oh, I do love reading good writing on so many topics. It’s a cheap subscription service ($5 a month) with lots of content on all kinds of different topics. The subscription fees go to the writers based on an algorithm no one understands, but appears to me that the $5 fees for each subscriber is divided among the stories you clap on. It doesn’t matter. It won’t make me rich, but it’s been a great exercise.

Potential jobs. It all moves so slow. For me there is a is a possibility of one that could keep me in town doing something I believe I could do well and use my talents to impact lives of my neighbors and friends. I applied a couple of weeks ago and hope to hear from them every day. It’s weird….I had opened up to the probability that I would have to move to find a job that fit. I admit that the possibility of staying home and not having a long commute is making me a bit more discontent of other possibilities.

A few other things. All of the others that lost their jobs with me have found jobs. That’s satisfying. And one of the bloggers that I have been trading jobless experiences with also has found a job and may even have two to choose from. She has struggled far more than me and is having to rebuild her life from the ground up, even from homelessness. I hope for her the greatest success and can’t wait to see the life she builds.

I leave for Wales November 8. I bought tickets to a Squeeze concert in Cardiff over a year ago when I still had a job…an impulse purchase in the middle of the night when I saw their tour schedule on Facebook. My cousin Kerry and I are going. I’m looking forward to about two weeks there with her and our people. I enjoy them so much. This is another time I am glad I went into all of this financially stable. I’ve still been able to continue to do so many of the things I love.

But I trust God and feel the next step will be clear. I am just praying, waiting, and trusting. Faith is a good thing. There’s no fear. But pray for me anyway….and let’s watch God work. Anything could be happen (I have all kinds of alternates in place in case a job doesn’t come soon), but it will be right. I’m ready to take the next step, whatever that will be.

“Joy is in the present and will be waiting for me in the future.
The Lord’s kindness never fails!
If he had not been merciful,
we would have been destroyed.
The Lord can always be trusted
to show mercy each morning.
” Lamentations 3:22-23 (CEV)

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