Do That Thing

I lost three friends this week.

I never met Mary in person. We met about 25 years ago, on a message board that started primarily about a TV show (I knew her as Mamie, her name on that message board, for years). That board morphed into many interests over the years and soon we shared our lives and knew so much about each other it was odd that we didn’t even know what the other looked like. That changed when we got connected on Facebook.

She loved her family and told so many stories about them I thought I knew them, too. Every Christmas she gave each of her grandchildren a book to open for every day of the month. It was fun to see those she chose. We bonded over books – we both loved reading and she never recommended a book to me I didn’t love.

She got breast cancer and it took her quickly – in about two months. I didn’t expect it. I lost another friend earlier this year that quickly from cancer – it doesn’t feel real. Unfortunately it is.

This morning I found out a ballooning friend had died. I crewed hot air balloons for many years, and the community still holds many of my closest friends. I was not around Mike much, but how I loved watching how he loved his family by Facebook. He married his wife later in life and gained two stepdaughters. He was a natural father. He did so many sweet things for all of them, it was forever making me smile. He had a massive stroke and could not survive the damage. When his wife posted of his death on Facebook she also said he was an organ donor. Others will get a chance at life because of him.

And then there is my friend Ursula. She was that girlfriend who led the pack. Another balloonist. She was outspoken and funny and yet very intuitive and kind. She was there in good times and bad.

I hadn’t seen her much lately. I tried, but I felt as though she wanted to keep her circle small. I’ll always wonder if staying away was the right thing to do. I’m somebody who usually deals with things on my own, so I am sure that was projected into my behavior. Did I read the signals correctly?

Still, I know she knew I loved her. We had that kind of friendship where we would give each other a hard time because we could. Her memory was amazing – she remembered dumb things I had both done years ago (and forgotten) and would bring them up out of the blue. It was hysterical and that was how it was meant to be. We teased each other relentlessly. I have so many good memories of her. It will be impossible to forget them.

She died of bile duct cancer – I didn’t even know what that was before she was diagnosed. She told her story in the hope it would educate – and I am sure many of us learned. She outlived the expiration date they tried to place on her – of course she did. She was a scrappy fighter.

Love your people. Love your life. Don’t put off those things you want to do in this life. Do the thing now. When you have the chance. When you can make the memories. And when those around you can be part of them.

Mary, Mike, and Ursula – your lives made mine better. ❤️